Ask Alix – Long Distance Sex

  September 14, 2017

What’s up Alix! LOVE your work! Anyways, I’ll cut to the chase. I have to travel a LOT for my job, which sends me all over the world for up to a few months at a time. I’m married to a wonderful woman who’s nothing but supportive, but not being able to get physical with each other when I’m away drives us crazy! Got any tips for getting through these dry spells?

Keeping things spicy from a long distance can be the ultimate challenge for any relationship, so rest assured that you’re not alone. In my experience, the old saying still rings true, absence really does make the heart grow fonder. I find this to be especially true when you’ve been with the same partner for quite some time and the initial “honeymoon phase” has worn off. When both partners are putting in the work to keep each other sexually satisfied from afar, it brings you closer as a couple. It also helps you truly appreciate the moments when you can actually spend time together in person. These are just a few of the silver linings to spending time apart from your partner. Plus the sex is always extra hot when you return after a long trip, and if you don’t believe me just check out Aubrey Sinclair and Chad White in the FA video, “Come Home”.

Aubrey Sinclair

That being said, long distance sex can be nearly as good as real sex, especially when you know each other well and are comfortable being yourselves with one another. My number one tool in the bedroom (and in the virtual one) is communication. If you don’t know your partner’s biggest fantasy, then just ask them! Maybe you can talk about a naughty roleplay scenario you’d both like to try when you get home, like Valentina Nappi and Logan Long in “The Pizza Delivery”. If you love it when your partner does that one move with her tongue, tell her! If you want your partner to tell you what they would do to you if you suddenly woke up in bed together that morning, don’t be shy to ask! This handy little not-so-secret tip is also applicable to every other part of your relationship, especially when you’re spending time apart.

If you and your partner are newbies at virtual sex, it’s sometimes challenging to not overthink or feel self-conscious. To help put your mind at ease, just make it clear that you’re in a judgment-free zone before letting the fun begin. If at first your partner is hesitant or awkward, just keep encouraging them and giving that positive reinforcement, no matter how silly it may seem. When you know you’re turning your partner on, and vice versa, it’s easy to come out of your shell and really enjoy yourselves!

No matter what you decide to do, whether it’s a Skype show, Facetime, sexting, or just old fashioned phone sex, remember this: the goal is to paint a picture in your partner’s head so they can imagine whatever naughty fantasy you’re sharing and use that visual to, well, get touchy feely with themselves. This means being as descriptive as possible. For example, instead of just saying “I’m hard,” try something like, “It makes me instantly hard when I think of you wearing that blue lingerie you love.”

You can even take it one step further and exchange naughty pictures or videos to help with those visuals! (Of course, only do this if it’s with someone you fully trust!) If you’re hesitant, Snapchat works beautifully for sending videos that vanish after the viewer watches them.

So now that you have the knowledge, get out there and make your lover feel good, no matter how far away they may be. Pretend like you’re going out on a date and schedule a time and place to meet up, get comfy, and have fun! Virtual sex can take your relationship to a whole new level!

Love Alix