“I’ve noticed that a lot of my favorite porn stars are in relationships, and often with people who aren’t even in the industry. I think it’s great, but can’t help but wonder what it’s like to date someone who has sex with other people for a living. What can someone expect when they’re in a relationship with a porn star?”
The best way I can describe myself and other fellow adult entertainers is this: we’re just normal people who happen to have abnormal jobs. Dating someone who does porn is simply a matter of personal preference and the biggest deciding factor is whether or not you can be okay with your significant other going to their 9-5 job and having sex with other people.
In today’s society, some people tend to frown upon the life of an adult film star and many are not able to handle the progressive ideals that come along with the lifestyle. For this reason, many people may not be comfortable with their partner having sex with others, even if it is only in a professional context. People tend to fear what they do not understand, and there are many misconceptions surrounding adult entertainers. As I always say, education is the key to life, so let me break it down for you:
1. We’re entertainers: Visit an adult film set and you’ll see that it is usually quite similar to your typical mainstream acting set. There’s a crew, there’s a makeup artist, there are scripts, there’s the talent…the only difference is that sex also happens to be a part of the scene being filmed. We’re professional actors performing with other professional actors to entertain viewers at home. Once the scene is done we pack up our stuff, go home to have dinner with our families, and go to bed just like everybody else.
2. We’re professionals: While sometimes we’re excited to spend a day on set with a super hot coworker, we still keep it professional despite the fact that we’re having killer sex with them. On set, it’s as casual as can be, and we part ways when our jobs are done. In other words, we see each other as colleagues – never as potential dating or marriage material. For those of us in the industry, it’s just another day at the office. You can rest assured that we won’t be falling in love and running off into the sunset with whichever performer we happen to work with that day.
3. We’re open-minded: When you’re naked and having sex on camera for all the world to see, there’s not much room left to be shy or care about what anyone else thinks of you. So if you’re dating someone in porn, rest assured anything sex-related that you want to try that you may have been turned down for in the past…we’ve already done it. Twice. We’ve seen and heard it all, so even if your fantasy is a clown-themed foot-fetish orgy, we won’t flinch if you bring it up. We’re also all about the thrills, so never hesitate to ask us to go on that spontaneous trip to an exotic location or check out that new restaurant with all the crazy dishes. We’ll be game.
4. We’re all different: At the end of the day, everyone’s different. I know some happily married co-workers (Including FA regular Mick Blue – Click here for his newest scene on FuckingAwesome) who are completely monogamous outside of work, but I also know some couples who love to invite other people to join in on their sexcapades. As long as you and your partner are open and communicative of each others’ needs, there’s no right or wrong way to go about your relationship.
In many ways, adult entertainers aren’t that different from other professionals; we wake up, go to work and look forward to coming home and relaxing with our friends, pets, and/or significant other just like everybody else. The only difference is that our work day consists of having sex on camera. So if that doesn’t bother you, and you’re lucky enough to cross paths with that porn star you’ve been dreaming about, then be respectful, strike up a conversation and go for it!
Love Alix Lynx